SHELF 01 / PICKS
Charlie's Picks
The high-score shelf. Permanent rebuys, obvious recommendations, and products that have earned unreasonable loyalty.
KIRKLAND FIELD GUIDE / VOL. 26
Last updated:--.--.--
Kirkland Signature • Warehouse Finds • Food Court • Bulk Goods
Charlie Kirkland
Good stuff.
Strong opinions.
The stuff worth buying twice, the food-court classics, oversized boxes, suspiciously good store-brand replacements, and whatever followed me home from the warehouse this week.
KIRKLAND SIGNATURE • ROTISSERIE CHICKEN • $1.50 HOT DOG • BULK COFFEE • PAPER TOWELS • OLIVE OIL • BATTERIES •
KIRKLAND SIGNATURE • ROTISSERIE CHICKEN • $1.50 HOT DOG • BULK COFFEE • PAPER TOWELS • OLIVE OIL • BATTERIES •
SHELF 02 / NEW
Latest Reviews
The newest additions to the notebook, regardless of whether Costco has any business selling them.
SHELF 03 / QUESTIONABLE
Questionable Purchases
The reviews where the receipt begins raising more questions than it answers.
CK
“If it tastes the same, costs less, and comes in a bigger bottle, what exactly am I paying you extra for?” — operating principle
DEPARTMENT 01
Reviews
Kirkland staples, warehouse regulars, food-court classics, and a few things Costco probably does not sell.
VIEW
Tier
Item
Score
Description
PANTRY & DRINKS
Kirkland Extra Virgin Olive Oil
9/10
Reliable everyday olive oil. One of the easiest Kirkland swaps.
Kirkland Mixed Nuts
6/10
Great nuts. 40 servings lasted two evenings.
Kirkland Maple Syrup
9/10
Good real maple syrup at a price that makes using it generously feel reasonable.
Kirkland Almonds
8/10
Cheap, simple, useful. Hard to complain about.
Kirkland Colombian Coffee
4/10
Good coffee. Doesn't work particularly well with speed.
Kirkland Parmigiano Reggiano
9.5/10
Excellent cheese without specialty-store pricing. Permanent rebuy.
Kirkland Greek Yogurt
8/10
Good everyday yogurt if you can actually finish the tub.
Kirkland Signature Purified Water
1/10
No flavor. No bubbles. Hard no.
HOUSEHOLD
Kirkland Paper Towels
9.5/10
Thick, dependable, and genuinely worth buying in warehouse quantities.
Kirkland Bath Tissue
8.5/10
Good enough that the enormous package stops looking enormous after a while.
Kirkland Trash Bags
9/10
Works well and one box lasts approximately one geological era.
Kirkland Laundry Detergent
8/10
Good value and a bulk size that actually makes sense.
Kirkland AA Batteries
8.5/10
Buy the brick and forget AA batteries exist for a while.
Kirkland AAA Batteries
8.5/10
Same deal as the AAs. Useful, cheap, boring in the correct way.
Kirkland Aluminum Foil
10/10
Great for cooking. 5G reception drops immediately when properly installed.
Kirkland Plastic Wrap
9/10
Works well. Pretty sure the roll will outlive me.
BAKERY & DELI
Rotisserie Chicken
9.5/10
Five dollars of extremely competent chicken. Dinner problem solved.
Kirkland Croissants
9/10
Better than they need to be. The package size becomes dangerous quickly.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
8.5/10
Purchased Saturday. Evidence no longer exists.
Muffin Pack
7/10
Good muffins. Quantity requires planning, friends, or freezer space.
Kirkland Bacon
8.5/10
Good thickness, good value, disappears faster than expected.
Kirkland Signature Wildflower & Grass Seed Mix
3/10
Doesn't get me high when smoked. Smells nice though. Basically essential oil with extra steps.
FOOD COURT
Hot Dog + Soda
10/10
There is nothing useful I can add to the literature.
20 oz Fountain Soda + Refill
9/10
69¢ and 0–420 calories. Extremely precise in its uncertainty.
Pineapple Pizza
2/10
You know how this looks, right?
Chicken Bake
8/10
Good. Physically exhausting.
Soft Serve
8/10
Strong finish to a warehouse run that went on twenty minutes too long.
PERSONAL CARE
Kirkland Minoxidil
7/10
Six-month supply and still no Bayonetta hair powers.
Kirkland Reading Glasses, 3 Pack
10/10
One for each place I forgot the other two.
Kirkland Condoms — XXXL, 200 Count
2/10
Wrong size. Returning the other 199.
Kirkland Condoms — M, 200 Count
3/10
Ran out in a week. Terrible bulk value.
FROZEN & PREPARED
Kirkland Frozen Meatballs
8/10
Excellent freezer insurance. Easy dinner, easy portions, no drama.
Kirkland Ice Cream Bars
8.5/10
Excellent product. Freezer security inadequate.
Kirkland Protein Bars
5/10
Technically chocolate according to the paperwork.
Random Healthy Endcap Snack
2.5/10
The sample lady got me. I accept responsibility.
WAREHOUSE FINDS
Seasonal Storage Bins
7/10
Useful until buying storage creates the need for more storage.
Random Middle-Aisle Gadget
5/10
Could become indispensable. Could become garage archaeology.
Random Tool Set
8/10
Bought because future Charlie will obviously need it. Future Charlie usually does.
Kirkland Server Rack — 12 Pack
10/10
Finally a normal package size.
AWS $200 Credits Gift Card
1/10
Ran out after a single Lambda execution.
NVIDIA HGX Rubin NVL8 — 16 Pack
10/10
Great fit for the nuclear reactor.
Kirkland IPv4 Addresses — 256 Pack
10/10
Should have bought these in 1997.
AUTOMOTIVE, REAL ESTATE & OTHER NECESSITIES
Kirkland-Financed Subaru Outback
9/10
Ten years in. Head gasket still holding. Starting to suspect this one isn't a real Subaru.
Kirkland Motor Oil
9/10
Car drinks less of it than expected. No complaints.
Kirkland Studio Apartment
4/10
Kitchen is somehow also the bedroom and part of the bathroom.
Kirkland Divorce Attorneys — 12 Pack
4/10
Only needed eleven.
Kirkland Aircraft Carrier
7/10
Great range. Terrible turning radius.
Kirkland Kaleidos-Class Microreactor — 1.2 MWe
4/10
Electric bill went negative. Waste disposal is a pain in the ass. Apparently “dump it in San Francisco” isn’t an approved method.
DEPARTMENT 02
About Charlie
Charlie. Kirkland enthusiast. Frequently enters Costco for three things and leaves with twelve.
Usual cart
- Paper towels
- Olive oil
- Coffee
- Batteries
- Cheese
- One thing that was not on the list